Tryin to relax

The last few days have been really stressful for some reason. I mean yesterday for some reason I was so stressed that I was just jumpy all day long. My whole body is tense, I feel hyper and tired at the same time all the time. Last night I tried to fix it a bit. I went out to eat at my favorite place after class, ate some old fashioned comfort food, Huevos y Chorizo. It was great honestly, I ate dinner at dinner time for once, I sat and relaxed, saw an old friend and caught up a bit, and just enjoyed a meal that made me feel good. It kinda reminded me of the old times, the times when we all went out to eat and got stuffed and then just hung out, those were good days. There was the sweetness of silence around me even in a busy restaurant, I was alone in the world and it felt pretty good honestly. I’m not trying to be a hermit here by any means, I love being out with people but sometimes I think we all need time alone. Time to reflect and relax. Time to just be yourself, by yourself. I went home after that and studied for a few hours, I dont’ feel confident about this test, i’m stressed over projects still, but for about an hour last night none of it mattered…

What a long day

Ya know I feel like today almost didn’t happen. You see I went to class as usual, talked to John as usual before class, then we headed over to AAA to make our reservation for the cruise. That’s where it happened, or rather didn’t happen. You see we had been working with Nona but she wasn’t working today, we got stuck with someone else. It took her 2 hours to book it, and I think she was still working when we left! It’s booked now. I missed my last class because of her, although from what I hear I didn’t miss much. She sucked the life right out of me. I hope this all goes well or I’m going to go in there and tear someone a new one. 2 hours is unacceptable in my opinion to book a cruise that we could have booked online ourselves. I’m going to go watch some MNF and relax…. catch you all later.

I can’t sleep lately

It’s starting again. I’ve been up most of the night every night this week. Not because I’m not tired or because I’m studying, but because I just can’t sleep.
I wish I could understand what’s wrong with me and how I can get past it. I have sleeping pills, I’m scared to death to take them, I don’t want to get addicted and I don’t want to spend an entire day sleeping. I just want to rest. I feel stressed a lot lately, not about anything in particular, just stressed about being busy and staying busy. I feel like sleep is a waste of time, 8 hours of nothing, there are so many things to watch on TV, or read or learn or or or or… You get the idea, I’m an information junkie and I like to stay busy.
Idle hands are not something I can tolerate, that just stresses me more. I’m not happy unless I’m reading something while typing something else, while on the phone with the TV on, all while driving somewhere to meet people to hang out. I don’t understand how to relax for long periods of time and hate when people do it and it ruins things I wanted to do.
I need to find a way to sleep. I know that what I’m doing to my body isn’t the best for it, I don’t know how to stop though. I just want 8 hours and to be left alone in the dark, when I don’t have anything better to do.