The other night, during one of our storied visits to McAllisters, Kyle and I started reading some old posts from here. Mostly ones that were from this time last year, the year before and even three years ago. We had several inches of snow on November 23, 2005, I totally forgot.
It was a bit strange honestly, looking back at years gone by, and even though it seemed like forever, three years isn’t that far back. I wonder what posts would like if I had blogged in high school. What was I thinking in November 1996? Surely there would have been something about freshman year, the girls I was dating, band practice, new friends and the excitement of the friends who had a car and could take me places! I wish that I had started blogging, or at least journaling much earlier in my life. In my younger years there was usually a notebook, a sketch pad or just a scrap of paper that I would often write things on, I wonder whatever happened to all of those? I know where some of my “note books” are, essentially composition books that I passed back and forth with girls I dated instead of tearing out paper from our notebooks. I have 2 or 3 around somewhere. Maybe I should delve into those sometime to reminisce. But I’m not sure there are any surviving “journals,” places where I wrote the kinds of things that I write here. Pieces of paper with short quips, quotes and long, drawn out prose on my life and my thoughts. The memories I have of that time are incomplete, not because I can’t remember every detail (which I can’t) but also because I’m sure there are days gone by, and thoughts that passed to quickly that I didn’t document in some way. How sad, my past is but a memory because I didn’t take the time to record it.
Looking at those posts from a few years ago I realize that life has changed and has changed me. Mostly I think it’s been for the best, but at times there I things that I miss about the past, things that I wish didn’t happen or things that shouldn’t have happened. I like where things have ended up though. I’m happy with life and where it’s taking me in the future overall.
I am grateful for the future that I have and still, at times, I mourn for the past that is no more.