Greatest Spam opening ever!

Here’s the opening line to a spam message I got today:

Any tornado can give lectures on morality to a wedge related to the vacuum cleaner, but it takes a real sheriff to operate a small fruit stand with a light bulb near an inferiority complex. Any plaintiff can hardly figure out a paycheck, but it takes a real cough syrup to thoroughly secretly admire the ball bearing. A minivan related to a mastadon, a diskette, and a spider are what made America great! A stovepipe living with the fundraiser bestows great honor upon a polygon from the insurance agent.

Where I sign up for morality lectures given by a tornado?
Sheriffs operating fruit stands near inferiority complexes, is that even possible?
Only real cough syrup admires ball bearings!
Minivans are related to mastadons? The spider could be plausible…
Hey insurance guys, are you bestowing honors on polygons? I think it could help business in these troubled times

Amazing…

My car tried to run away yesterday

What a weekend! Out with the gang (Erin, Ali, and Kyle) Friday and Saturday nights. Friday was dinner, driving and swimming followed by a movie. Saturday was TV, talking and swimming/hot tubbing. The gang is building again it seems. That always makes me happy, alone time and “us” time is great, but I need group time too now and then. The summer holds promise for some interesting times.

Yesterday was a day though, one that I was glad to be done with. I woke up in a bad mood from being out late the night before and it went down hill from there. Thankfully and regrettably I had the house to myself in the afternoon, I planned to clean up my room, the car, and just chill for a while. It quickly turned ugly. I let the battery on my car run down completely while cleaning it out and getting distracted with laundry. Dead, not even enough to make the engine turn over slightly. Crap.

Normally we have all kinds of odd tools and stuff around the house, not a battery charger though. Since no one else was home I had no one there to jump start my car either. I called and found that I had access to my uncle’s car but I had one small problem since my car was in my garage and no one was there to help guide it out. I got his car in my driveway and then thought about how I would get my car out. It’s a straight shot out of the garage into the driveway and the driveway isn’t that slanted, a quick push out the door and then jump in to stop it and then a quick jump and I’d be on my way. Of course it sounded all too easy.

I lined my car up to push it out, just a little turn to the steering wheel to square it up. A small push got me to the edge of the driveway/garage then another push would take the back wheels over the small bump that separates the two structures. One more push from the front wheels and I’d be set. I lined up on the front of the car, I couldn’t push with the door open or I’d risk ripping off the door of the car or screwing up the side of the garage door opening. I pushed just enough to get over the bump, the car took off down the driveway. I mean it went a lot faster that I thought it would. I quickly ran around to the side of the car, jumped into it while it was increasing in speed, slammed on the non-power brakes and threw it into gear. The car lurched to a stop nearly at the sidewalk by the edge of the driveway. I was 5 feet from the busiest road in my neighborhood. Terrific.

I hooked up the jumper cables and proceeded to jump the car, of course that didn’t go that well either. My battery was so dead that I couldn’t just hook up the cables and go, no I had to wait 10 minutes to get the thing charged up. Geez, not my day. Knowing what I know about cars (not that much probably) I knew that I had to let it run for a while so the alternator could charge up the battery again. I moved my uncle’s car back to his house and locked it up again.

A quick trip to Peru would help charge it up I thought. I took it to AutoZone to see if they’d test it out to make sure that I just ran it down and there really wasn’t a bigger problem with the car. The battery hadn’t fully charged during the 15 minute ride to the store and the guy said that I could have a problem with the battery. I had the cables in my trunk still and thought instead of buying a new $60-80 battery I would chance it for the evening and see how it would work out.

Back home to shower and get ready to go to Kokomo. The car started like a champ on my way out to hang out. I had the cables I was ready. We did our thing at Kyle’s house and headed home a little earlier than I thought we would, but late enough I suppose. No problems.

Today I headed back to AutoZone and received a clean bill of health for my battery. All is well again.

For a moment yesterday I imagined my car rolling down the driveway and crashing into a slow moving Chevy, that would kill my insurance payments for sure. Luckily all is well and the guy said I really have nothing to worry about. I’m still buying a battery charger this week, just in case.

I Hate Tuesdays!

Tuesdays are quite possibly the worst day of the week. Its the first work day of the week for me usually, its the latest night I have at school. There just nothing good about them.

Today was a Tuesday, I got up headed to work, did what needed to be done and then started working on my paper. Fortunately I was able to actually get something on paper, last night I had writer’s block so bad I just gave up and went to bed at 10pm. Anyways, I got 2 pages and a bit more cleaning left to do, it’ll be OK. I headed to school a bit later than usual, stopped at the PO Box first, Netflix sent Rent on the day it came out! That’s great service. Lately I’ve been not so happy with them, long waits before they send movies, damaged discs, and slow turn arounds have all been problems lately for me, not today though. The other interest piece of mail was a notice from Anthem informing me that my health insurance is going up another $20/month starting in April. Why?!? I haven’t been to the doctor in forever, I don’t have any monthly expenses, basically I pay them in case something should happen. I realize that’s the purpose of insurance, but why does it have to increase all the time? I’m switching soon, like tomorrow!

Anyways I got to school, meet up with Ben, called Erin and basically just hung out while I continued working on my paper.

Now I’m in class listening to discussion over a completely useless topic, can’t wait to get out of here.

Just another Tuesday in a horrid class…

At work again…

…bored as all get out. I’ve done everything there is to do. I even called my insurance guy to find how the heck I’m goign to keep my health insurance after this fiasco with St. Vincent’s and Anthem is over. Something about St. V’s doesn’t like the way that Anthem is paying so they are kicking them out. Trying to kill a giant with another giant basically. It’s screwing everyone in the middle though. All of my doctors are St. V’s and they always have been. I don’t want to try to find a new doc, eventhough I haven’t been to a doctor in quite a few years. I hate insurance.
In other news:
Well there really is no other news. I’m playing poker with the guys tonight, maybe that’ll give me something to write about.