Life or Something Close

Thursday, April 29

I'm done!

Soundtrack of my life: Burlap To Cashmere - Basic Ins -

OK not totally but I just finished my 6 page Philo paper finally. Woo hoo! The only thing that I have left to do is take my finals, and study for them obviously. I'm excited that I'm one week from done though. Things have been really good lately. Communication is the key to everything. I went to Bible study tonight, Proverbs 27, found out that I'm probably a horrible person as it turns out, but there are things that I am doing right so it's all good. I have to go to 3 out of 4 classes tomorrow, should be a breeze really... Can't think of any reason why I should go at all other than just to find out what's going to be on my finals. The good news also is that I'm doing really well this semester, might bring my 3.23 up to a 3.5 after all... woo hoo again. Anyway it's late... I really should be in bed... My head is fried.

Monday, April 26

Rainy Days and Mondays....

I wrote that in Psych the other day... I was bored and just started writing. I don't' know what everything means really, or even why it's slightly poetry and slightly not. I just wrote it, and I wanted everyone to see it. It's far too late to go any farther... I have to be at work in less than 7 hours.
I've become what I once was, doing what I one did. Now I am at the same crossroads again, will history repeat itself? Leaving the mediocre to receive the great? Remember before when the OK became like a swan, once more please? The connections are amazing, the angels on the shelf, and the names in the night. Faces so strange yet so kind. Long and lonely nights may not be over yet, but they've became so much more. I fell too hard and too fast, I fell in an instant. Did I land on my feet this time, perhaps my head? A busy life in these times, but never too busy for this. I'd give it all up for one night more. Jealously rears its ugly head once more. It's not my place to say, but it hurts every time life the times before, when I couldn't' do anything about it. I don't' think I've moved past it all quite yet, but I'm waiting on nothing, that something I wonder if I ever even had. No more games, don't' have to worry about that, I still I play those same games, just wanting it all back. No, I've found something new, a rocky road to start, and some things to clean up. Now it's all good, that is if it ever begins. Stars and Songs are ruined, burned on me always. A Lullaby that was once ours now belongs to no one.

Dazed and Confused

It's been something of a long weekend. Friday we went out just to chill, ate some good and then went home basically... Nothing too big. Saturday I spent most of the day just chillin around the house and stuff... Can't say that I did much of anything really. After eating dinner at Jake's house though, we went over to Chris's and chilled with him and Terra and the PS2... good times. Then we went to Kokomo and went bowling with Annie and Kyle and Orion. At BW's later on though it seemed that basically me and Chris and Terra just reminisced about old times and just bored everyone else to death. I kind of felt bad about that part.
Things are really confusing right now and I think for the first time tonight I realized that I'm not the only one who is confused. Things happened really fast and I think it blew both of us away really. I'm happy for the most part with everything, and I hope the other person is too. We've had some great times lately, I think at least. The thing is that we are so busy with the other parts of our life that we almost don't' have to be worrying about what's going on between us. What should we do? I'm so confused myself that I can't help anyone with anything really.
I think I know what I want, can I have it please?

Friday, April 23

Please support our guys...

Support your SoldierI read about Tillman dying today, how sad. He gave up millions of dollars and a life of luxury to go server for our country and defend the very things we take for granted everyday. My best friend is preparing to leave for Afghanistan very soon; I ask that everyone out there say a prayer for him, his unit, and all the other soldiers out there defending our freedom. Some of you may not agree with this war or its purpose, but do not defile these men's lives by disrespecting them and their mission. If you feel so strongly about it, use your vote to change the world, but remember these men are following the orders of those we have elected to make the decisions for our country. Before I go on and on let me leave you with this:

It is the Soldier, not the reporter who has given us freedom of press
It is the Soldier, not the poet who has given us freedom of speech
It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer who gives us freedom to demonstrate
It is the Soldier who salutes the flag,
who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag.
-Author Unknown

Godspeed Matt

Monday, April 19

I'm having fun ya'll...

Soundtrack of my life: Letters From War - Mark Schultz

Well yet again it's been too long since I've posted but since I just woke up at 645 to go to work at 9 (?!?!?!) I'll write about the weekend. It's been great really, I mean I think this is one of the better weekends I've had really over all. Friday after a long and hectic day at work I went to Logan to help a friend out with a PowerPoint project. After that we drove to Kokomo to see Kill Bill Vol. 2. Just the 4 of us. I must say that even though I didn't' see Vol. 1 I don't think that I missed that much really. It was an OK movie, I just don't' think I was in the mood really. Annie was tired and stressed about life so that made it odd I guess. But anyways on to other things. Saturday night was probably the weirdest. I spent the entire day cleaning out the car, I mean I did it all, I went to the car wash and spent like 20 min with the hose just getting all the junk off of it, then I chamois it dry before I left. After I got home, I waxed the entire thing, which took about an hour or so by itself. Then after that I cleaned out the inside and washed all the windows. I should have known it wouldn't' last though, It's dirty now again, too many bugs out already and it's dusty from the farmers plowing. Oh well its cool though. So anyways though, Annie came to dinner at my house on Saturday cause she was passing by on her way back from LaPorte/MI. After that we took off for Kokomo. We got about halfway there when I realized that some East End Life Saver Sprite sounded good. So we turned around and headed back to Peru. A waste of gas I'm sure but it's ok. Just as we were leaving I dumped half of an ice cream cone on my freaking car. Right on the fender. My clean, just waxed car. Grrr... Jake called us, and we headed off to his house. After some coaxing we got him to go hang out with us. We flew to Kokomo and took some junk back to Old Navy, then we headed back to Peru again to hang out with my friend from way back.
Actually it was cool. New friends and old all together, just chillin and having a good time. I can't say much for details right now but those who know, know it was a good time. Annie drove us all home and I just crashed.
Yesterday my 80 GB HD with 9GB of Mp3 and 30GB of movies crashed... Well it didn't' crash totally... it just only worked for about 3 minutes at a time, making it very hard to transfer all the junk off. I got everything off. Finally. I spent all of yesterday afternoon though with Annie in Kokomo just shopping and hanging out. Bought a new HD and some new clothes and cologne. We got some Strawberry Mt. Dew and all was good. Then we hung out with her friend Jenny, she's cool. We finally got to her house about 930 and just chilled and watched A Walk to Remember, a chic flick I realize, but it's not a bad story and Mandy Moore is pretty freaking hot at times.
So I guess basically what I'm saying is that I had a blast this weekend overall, and since I totally neglected to study this weekend, I'll be spending all of tonight after work in the library working my butt off. I need to go get ready for work now, stupid client meetings...

Wednesday, April 14

Why do I try...

Soundtrack of my life: I Can Only Imagine - Mercy Me

It doesn't matter what I do or how I do it, I lose. But I keep on trying, can anyone tell me why?

Tuesday, April 13

What should I say?

Soundtrack of my life: Jason Mraz - You and I

It's been a while since I've posted something, maybe I should, but I almost feel like this is the end of everything. I keep posting here, I used to post almost everyday, people read it and all that, and a few people even saw it as entertaining. But it seems that for the past few months people were getting mad about what they read or didn't read for that matter. Let me explain something to everyone out there. This is not here for me to talk about you; it's for me to talk about me. I write what I want to write and when I want to write it. I write about who I want and the experiences that I want to write about. If you got left out don't' take it personally, I just didn't' want to share everything with the rest of the world. If I did write about you and you too offense to it, stop taking it personally, I could be talking about you behind your back or worse yet holding it all in and then going off on you or something.
With all that said, let me continue with my life:
The past week has been great, almost. There has been so much drama lately with people that it's not even funny. I mean c'mon it's done let it go. There was no intention of anything happening, it just did. Remember it takes two for something to happen. What was going on before obviously wasn't' taken the right way. You're blaming the wrong people. You're not even talking to the right people. Let's move on.
This is the earliest I've been home in like 6 days; I've been getting in between 1 and 3 in the morning every night. I can't say that I'm complaining at all though. It's been absolutely great. Like I said before though I don't know where it's going to lead, I frankly don't care though, it's fun. I'm probably reading into things a bit too much as usual, but that's ok, thing shave a way of working themselves out, it can't all be bad.
I started my new job yesterday, so far so good. I was crazy busy with everything, and not everything is done yet either, but that's ok, it'll calm down and things will iron themselves out.
I'm making some big plans for this summer right now. I'm going to concerts... I've skipped out on them long enough; so far we're up to Aerosmith (maybe), DMB, and John Mayer with Maroon 5.Anyways... I'm off to finish stuff up and get to bed at a decent hour.
You don't talk to me, How can I expect to listen, I just want to here your voice, you'd rather enjoy your sorrow...

Thursday, April 8

Skipping cause I can...

I'm sitting in the library right now skipping class cause I can. Basically it's too nice out to sit in a hot room upstairs and learn about sociology. Last night was amazing, have you ever meet someone that you just instantly connected with? The same jokes, the same likes and dislikes, even knowing almost all the same people, just not eachother. It was just one of those once in a life time things really. I don't know where it will lead or how it will end but I know that the journey will probably be a lot of fun. I have some huge changes coming up this week, hopefully I can weather them all. I'm just gonna chill til Law now, what fun what fun. This weekend is still very much up in the air... I'm still poor from SB and the car, so I think the Indy trip is out but we'll see, you can donate via the link on the left if you're interested in financing me :) Anyways I should go do something productive....

Tuesday, April 6

It's Spring!

The sweet smell...Today was a pretty good day really. Surgery went well. She'll be able to see again probably tomorrow or the next day. My 1 o'clock got cancelled today so I went to the BMV to get my license plates for the car and then I went off to school. It was wonderful to drive with the windows down and the stereo blaring old songs from my HS and MS days... Remember Primitive Radio Gods? Didn't think so, but everyone knows their song when they hear it. I got to school and when I got to Psych realized that I had not one but two tests today, after 10 minutes of intense cramming I took the test... think I did OK, but not great... Then I hung out for a bit until I went to Soc... Took that test... grr... we'll see on that one. Then I went out to eat, studied a bit and went to Law... Boring really, except for the going out to eat thing... I noticed something, I got out of my car and was almost overwhelmed by the smell of daffodils in the air, it seems that BK had just plated some blooming daffodils near the door; I must say it was a wonderful reprieve from the stench of Kokomo. So now I think its official, spring is here, we have flowers, nice days, it's great... I'm just gonna chill tonight and then go to work tomorrow.. Catch you all later...

Monday, April 5

I got a job...

Soundtrack of my life: typical situation - Dave Matthews Band

Well the job search didn't' take too long... I called my old boss this afternoon, asked about anything they might have open, he said they didn't have anything really but that he would discuss it with the other owner and get back to me. An hour and half later he called me back; made me an offer and I start on Monday. It's a totally new position that they basically just made up for me. I'm the tech/sales support/admin support guy. The pay is pretty good, and the hours are flexible... Should be a good deal... Right now I'm on the phone with Cingular... they charged me $8 in roaming and are telling me now that while sitting at home, I will be paying roaming charges... I haven't' for the last year and a half! Grr... More to come later....

A new column for me to read....

I read this today very interesting... what should I do? Am I too liberal with names and events on here or should I make it more personal and include names? Any thoughts?

The weight of the world...

Soundtrack of my life: Waiting for Wednesday - Lisa Loeb

Atlas shrugged.....I keep having this recurring dream lately... That one IM that just pops up... "Hey, how are you?" No that I haven't seen it a hundred times, but not this particular way. I woke up this morning after having that same dream... and I tell ya, I just can't wait for it to happen. Some day perhaps.
Yesterday ended pretty well, got my weights, just didn't carry them in from the trunk cause it was late and all. Tonight I will though, so far no carbination either. :) And just for future reference "YOT" is not a word... Anyways I gotta get to work...

Sunday, April 4

I just realized...

It's 04/04/04 today... *back to my hole....

Revving up....

VrroommThis weekend has been on of those forgettable weekends that a lot of stuff happened during but nothing that you really remember as being extremely cool I guess. I'm taking today as a sort of new step on the outlook towards everything. First off, I cleaned today, I mean really cleaned... my desk looks amazing right now and so does the rest of my room, then later on today I'm going out to buy some weights... I've been meaning to do this for months now but I saw some in an ad today that didn't look like a bad deal... The same old crap is really getting on my nerves; it's time for something new... I'm giving up carbonation today too... I think I can drop 5 pounds pretty easily by doing that and then I'll be down to the weight that I want... Anywasy off to Kokomo for me... catch you later

Saturday, April 3

Some things never change

It's amazing how sometimes you wake up and go about your day just as you normally would and don't give a second thought to the way things are changing around you. You merely change with them and move on. Last night I had the opportunity to see two totally different sides of myself in just a few hours. I started out by going out with an old friend, we go back at least 6 years, which may not sound like a lot to some, but it's like my second oldest friend I guess. Anyways though we went out and really just got to know each other again, but there's the cool thing about it, we didn't really have to get to know each other again, we just clicked, even after not seeing each other for the past 4 or 5 months it just worked. She brought a friend that surprisingly I knew from a few years back with another friend and of course we got along ok too. We went to her church to go to a youth night thing, very cool, just playing games and meeting new people, something I haven't' done for a long time. Then around midnight I made the trek out to see my other friends, my current friends if you will, my SB buds... They were just watching a movie or whatever, but it's weird cause about 15 minutes after I got there I realized that my mood had totally changed, instead of being in that reflective, almost passive mood, I was in the "I want to be the center of attention" or at least the "look at me!" stage. I don't' think that either thing was particularly bad per se, but I just found it odd that I changed so much just going from friend to friend. I should point out that both sets of friends are very different in almost every way so maybe I shouldn't see it as such a big deal. Who knows, I just totally lost my train of thought here... so on to other things.
The job hunt isn't' going so well, most everyone is not hiring or they have jobs that either I don't' know how to do or wouldn't do yet. It's going to be a long month I can tell.... At least at the end of this month, I'm going clubbin... heh... later all

Thursday, April 1

Don't call me at 8am!

So I got to bed about 2 last night... no problem I didn’t' have to be up until like 10 this morning, more than enough sleep, then the phone rang at 8... I don’t' even remember who it was but either way it wasn’t' someone that I wanted to talk to that early, then it rang again at 830, 9, 945, and then for the last time around 1030... WTF! It was all these random people just calling for no reason... grr. So I've been up since 830 basically since I couldn’t fall back to sleep after all that going on. I went to give my resume to a guy today; he basically said thanks, no thanks. He said eh would look for me but it looks like its' going to be a total bust. I know this guy from another job I had a while back and while we weren't the best of friends, we got along ok, now I think he's just... Well whatever.
Went to Philo today and was pretty much bored out of my mind, now I'm sitting in the library listening to some tunes waiting on Soc. at 4... What fun that will be. I wrote my paper last night, basically just halfed it... No reason to try, actually there's a reason just no motivation I guess. This is bad, I'm one month from finally finishing another semester and I'm actually doing pretty well, and I'm going to screw it up, I just know it. Speaking of doing well though I did get the highest grade in the class for my Law test on Tuesday. That's pretty cool, but it's bad when the highest grade is an 86%.
  • GMail I saw this today, thought it was an April fools joke, sort of like GCHEESE but apparently they are serious. 1GB spam free email... could it be possible? We'll see, I signed up, hopefully they'll pick me.

I don't know what I'm going to do tonight actually, my 7 o'clock had been cancelled so I should be home by 6 tonight and I don’t' think anyone is going to be around to hang out. Maybe I should just stay home...
The job search is going, but I'm not sure how well... Basically right now, I'm living for the weekend, and trying to save money at the same time. Should be an interesting combination to figure out. Anyways, I'm going to go surf some more and waste more time... catch you all later