Life or Something Close

Tuesday, March 30

A prayer

Philippians 4:6 (NIV) Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

For those of you who don't know yet, I was told this week that my company will eb closign at the end of the month and I have to find a new job. That coupled with all the drama with my friends and family lately has made life pretty horrible. I feel like crap lately, just tired all the time and not motivated to do much. I'm getting ready to go to bed, but thought I should post something in case anyone didn't know...

Sunday, March 28


That's the question we should all ask more. Not necessarily in a negative sense either. Just ask yourself why now and then, keep things in perspective, is it really worth it, why? That was probably a bad way to start out a blog entry but its cool no one minds. I'm in one of those moods tonight, one of those where I wish things were the way they were way back when. I don't' mean last year, I mean like 5 years ago even, sure something should stay the way they are but some things just suck now that I'm older and dealing with "life" This weekend was kind of uneventful I guess. I got my car on Friday, it rocks. Anyone who wants a ride should let me know, because I love driving it. MP3 CD player is awesome, 180 songs on one CD, how cool is that? I just hung out on Friday, yesterday was crazy though. I helped rebuild our deck, built a walkway in the backyard and painted part of the shed. I was so tired, then I met up with everyone, well not everyone, but anyways we ended up in Swayzee at a party, kegger anyone? None of us drank, but it was fun just to watch everyone else get trashed for a while. Today was so nice; I slept in a bit and then just chilled most of the afternoon. I went to Kokomo tonight to study for my stupid law test, 2 and a half hours... ugh... I dunno, I just haven't' been in the mood to share lately I guess. That's why I haven't' written anything ... Life is hectic right now, I don't' think I know where I'm going or what I hope to accomplish once I get there. I'm going out on Friday with Bethany... haven't' seen her in a long time, so it should be cool I guess. I dunno... screw it I'm going to bed, this isn't helping....

Friday, March 26

Woo hoo

lookie what i got!This is what I got this morning. Heh... I'm out enjoying it tonight... I'll fill you all in tomorrow.

Monday, March 22

Everything else

Soundtrack of my life: Bounce - Sarah Conner

I've neglected to tell everything from Spring Break.... Here's the rest:
Thursday night we came home to something... something odd, a very inebriated man. Let's just say that we had a lot of fun with him, peanut butter and dogs were involved and pictures were taken. It was a great time for all. Then on Friday Jake, Chris, and I went to Downtown Disney to shop for souvenirs. It was cool to see it in the daytime. Finally Friday night came around, we partied hard. At least I did. We went to Pleasure Island and had a blast. Long Islands rule, just don't get the bucket! I want to say hey to Dawn, whoever you are. I remember your shirt and your name, but not much else. I want to apologize to everyone that rode home with me; I was way too loud for my own good. After getting home around 3ish I finally went to bed around 4. Got up on Saturday at 12 and got stuff ready to leave. We were finally on the road at around 230... The longest drive ever. It sucks leaving a place that's 80 and getting home the next morning where it's 20. I wanna go back.
All in all though I had a good time, lots of things came out that probably wouldn't have earlier, suspicions were made about people, and I think they'll be confirmed soon enough.
But seriously thanks to all my friends for going. Ambyr, thanks to your grandma for the place, Ben, thanks for keeping Ambyr in check, Kyle, thanks for driving a few nights and keeping me up to date on NCAA and my miserable picks, Chri-as, thanks for all of it dood, we gotta hang out more, Jake, thanks for keeping me sane all week. DJ, thanks for the memories of peanut butter and John. Sorry about Sparky.
I should go study... every story that should have been told has been told to everyone that needed to hear it. The memories will live on, plus I have pics to prove most of it.

For what it's worth

Soundtrack of my life: Counting Crows - Hanginaround -

Just read this...
I was moved... that's all I can say

Thursday, March 18

A moment in time....

Did you ever notice that when you're kind of down about stuff... nothing in particular, just down that no matter what you listen to on the radio, it just makes you think about that thing even more. I was a bit bummed this afternoon, turned on my music, and every song just put me in a moment that I was trying to get past. Why do I keep trying to get past it though, I don't want to be past it, I just want to be ok with it I guess...
It's been a good day I guess... We chilled at the hotel mostly... I took some pics of stuff, but I'll just post it all next week. We went out to the pool later in the afternoon to just chill, that was my "me" time I guess, I just chilled with a magazine that I would have rather not read and then turned on some music and kind of forgot about the world. It was nice to be carefree... Then it all started again, the complaining the whining. Why can't people just live with the way stuff is and if they don't' like it, deal? We're out of Coke, big deal we have so much juice and junk to drink it's not even funny... If you want Coke, go get it. How can you be so negative all the time? Surely on here it seems that things are all bad and whatever but they really aren't in my life, but you portray that imagine everywhere you are and to everyone, you say one thing and it's quite obvious that you are thinking something else. If you don't' agree with someone, have a valid reason for not agreeing and then defend your position, stop whining to whine.
Tonight, actually in a few minutes we're going out to a magic dinner theatre thing. Should be pretty good I imagine, at least it's a change of pace and pretty cheap. Tomorrow though, that's when I'm really going to go all out. It's my last night here; I'm having a blast, screw everyone else. It'll be fun :)

Another beautiful day...

It's freaking 75 right now and there is not a cloud in the sky I think the only thing bad about what's going on right now is that I've only had about 7 hours of sleep and my legs are sore from all the dancing... Life is good. It's been awhile since I've blogged because we've been just uber busy....Tuesday it was pouring most of the afternoon so we just went to a mall and junk... I was less than impressed with the mall but it was good to just walk around I guess... Then on Tuesday night we went to Paradise Island! Its part of Downtown Disney, a freaking blast we paid like $20 to get in... Then we had access to like 6 clubs... at first I had my doubts because there was no one in the Hip Hop one, I mean if no one goes to the Hip Hop one then how good coudl it be, but we were kinda early so we just walked aroudn and junk for a while. Then there was a live band called Kabang on the big open stage they played some great stuff that everyone knows, not bad for a cover band. By then it was about 11 I think and we went back to the Hip Hop Club, now it had people but it just wasn't the right atmosphere I don't' think; we finally went to Motion, the Top 40 club, that was where it was at. I had fun...
We finally got home about 2am or so... Then on Wednesday we went to Daytona Beach, talk about a great place to be on Spring Break. We walked about a mile down the beach and then back on the strip.... I love that place...There is so much to do down there... We went up to Ormond Beach to eat, a bit far to drive, but good food I guess. After that we went to someplace that shall remain anonymous but after that we went to Razzle's. Quite possibly the greatest club in Daytona Beach. We were there from like 11 to 2... It got really crowded after a while but I can't remember the last time I danced with so many girls in the same night. Thank you to all the ladies... I should write more but right now I'm freaking about cause I was supposed to get paid today and didn't, and I'm flat broke!.... this is not good... Anyways I'm going we're just chilling around the hotel today so I might write more later

Tuesday, March 16

Monday is over... kinda I guess

This is our theme for the week so far...It's late we just got home from clubbin... well we went to go clubbin downtown and didn't find anything. We did end of at one place... some electronic piece of crap bar thingy... Then we walked around town and junk... Orlando isn't a bad town, just a bad one for spring break I guess... We're going out tomorrow to check out the town a little better in the day time and see if we can't find something that will be better. Today was kind of a dull day I guess you could say. It rained... but I hear that at home they are getting 3 to 5 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow so it's all good. We went to a mall and junk, I bought a new coat which I really like but it's probably something I could have gotten at home. I think one thing that we're all forgetting is that we're here to just have fun and goof around, we don't' have to plan everything and all go the same place all at the same time, I think I'm just going to start realizing and going my own way with stuff... too much drama tonight that's for sure. I could write more probably and I probably should but I need to go back and join the gang now I suppose, I've kind of enjoyed just sitting here alone with my music on and enjoying a frosty beverage... :) anyways though I'll write more later when I have time... Most likely tomorrow night...

Monday, March 15

I'm still up...

It's 10pm now, we've got our groceries and other supply for the week... life is good right now... Today has been one of those days when we just get used to each other really. I think it's one of those things that every group goes through I think, we all know each other pretty well from school and all, but living with people for a week and sharing expenses and all that stuff, it's a totally different world. The other bad news for the day is that it's probably going to be raining, all freaking day! Oh well though, at least it'll give us a chance to see some of the sights around town that we wouldn't go to normally.
OK, it's now 1130am on Monday. I feel much much better now. We stayed up til about midnight playing cards and just goofing around. Kyle was in my bed, I kicked him out and he was just mumbling all this crap about his bed, finally he just said "F*** it!" and just got up. I guess he slept in his bed, I dunno.
I think today it's going to rain so we're going to go to the outlet malls and junk. That's cool with me; I'd be cool if we just chilled in the room all day actually. Tonight I hope we go to a club or something. I just wanna let loose and have some fun. I'm gonna go take a shower I guess... it's almost noon now. I'll write again later

Sunday, March 14

We're here...

After 17 hours on the road and a ton of rest stops. It's good to be here, I'm sad to say that it's now about 6pm on Sunday and I have been up since 9am on Saturday... I'm freaking tired, other than an hour nap that I took this morning on the floor of a motel room that Ben and Ambyr got, it was great. Right now we're sitting around watching the selection show and making a grocery list. So check this out, I haven't gotten around to taking pictures yet of anything, but let me tell you that right now I'm sitting in a living room bigger than the one in my own house, I'm staying on a king sized bed alone in a room with a couch and Jake is sleeping on that, we have a kitchenette, and a small bathroom. Then there is a dining room, full sized kitchen, then there is a laundry closet, another bedroom with two double beds, another bathroom, then there is a master bedroom with a whirlpool, and then another bathroom. So basically this place is freaking huge. I'll post pictures later this week when I get around to posting them.
Most of you probably haven't' seen me posting lately, for some reason my site is messing up, I apologize... My web host sucks... Anyways we're leaving... I'll write more later tonight...

Saturday, March 13

Mary freakin Moon!

It's by Deadeye Dick and it's called New Age Girl Check it out here ha!

Friday, March 12

18 hours to go...

I'm all packed now... Everything but the laptop and I are in the car right now. I'm ready, let's leave right now. Screw the hotel; let's just sleep on the beach... I'm going out with the gang for a bit tonight, just to chill and maybe clear up some last minute details... this week is going to rock, be sure to check back in from time to type and also check the Forums too. I'll be posting some pictures and probably post something about every day just to do something at night or early in the morning. I'm an early riser for some reason now and then... I'm sure I'll be up before just about anyone... ahh... alone time... Anyways I'd better get this show on the road; my next post will likely be from Orlando.. :)

Thursday, March 11

Getting ready to leave...

It's almost time to head to Indy but I felt like doing something so I'm in the library doing this blogging thing again. I went to my night class at 1130 this morning so I don’t' have to go and now me and Kyle are going out to see Jeremy Hotz at Crackers in Broad Ripple. I saw this guy on Comedy Central once, truly a great comedian. Ehh... its one last hurrah before next week and Florida! We're leaving in like 31 hours now. Going through Cincy this time cause it actually is about an hour shorter... cool with me.
That reminds me of something funny I heard once about people telling each other how far away stuff is. Some places like New York, tell you how many miles/blocks it is to someplace, not here in Indiana though, it's hour many minutes/hours it is. Everyone knows it's about 20 minutes to Kokomo from Peru; it's about an hour to Indy, its 3 hours to Bloomington, etc. I have no idea how many miles it is to Bloomington but I do know if I leave at 9am I'll get there pretty close to noon, depending on traffic. Traffic in Indiana is a bit of a different thing too, most people worry about traffic jams on interstates, we don’t' have that, we have a combine driving down the middle of a narrow country road at 20mph. The only interstate to worry about in Indiana is 465, it's like the Indy 500 all the time there, old ladies even flip you off for driving less than 10mph over the speed limit. Anyways I should go... later all...


Do you ever get in one of those moods where song lyrics really really speak to you? I'm in one of those moods right now. Here's what I've got on my list lately, check them out for yourself, I don't feel like posting them all here and filling this thing up.
  • Tool - The Patient
  • Evanescence - My Immortal
  • George Strait - Check Yes or No
  • Linkin Park - Numb

It's nothing really exciting I guess, but I've heard these songs today and I must say that they all reached me in some way.
Anyways though, I've got some studying left to do and I need to get to bed, long day tomorrow, going to see Jeremy Hotz in Broad Ripple...
2 Days!

Wednesday, March 10


Hey check this out guys, I have Forums!. Check them out. I am going to start posting stuff there about SB and also some technical mumbojumbo that I find. Feel free to register and post as well. If you have any questions feel freee to contact me on AIM or email me.


Cancer: (June 22—July 22)
You have a right to be happy, but that might not outweigh the feelings of the dozens who so enjoy your misery.

Tuesday, March 9


I respectfully, rescind and withdraw everything...

I hate it...

The new header sucks... the old one will be back tomorrow... enjoy it while it lasts...

i wrote part of it...

Soundtrack of my life: owsley - Uncle John's Farm -

Wander... it's a Hoosier thingI wrote something tonight that no one will ever see. One person might, but it's not likely with the way things are going right now. Why can't I just get past it all and move on? Why? Cause I don't' want to that's why! It's my life, let me screw it up how I see fit. Right now I'm trying to unscrew it up I guess, but just the same. Someday it'll work out, someday...
My apologies to my readers who have seen this go from a somewhat vague and philosophical account of life to more of a rant and rave type of blog... I just write what I'm thinking... I haven't' been thinking anything really interesting lately...
I have just 4 days left here... can't wait, maybe I can change into someone without a care in the world for just one week, maybe then I'll be ok. I've pretty much already checked out anyways, because lets face it, this is all I've been looking forward to for the last month. Only two days of work and two days of class left though.
Do you ever want to just grab someone and hug them as tight as you can and tell them that you'll fix it? I want to do that right now, and I can't, it sucks... life is becoming too closed ended again, it's about time to clean house and start fresh... everyone knows everythign adn that sucks...
I told some people that I might just go wandering during SB one day...I think it scared everyone... sometimes you just can't be funny and socialable all the time. I need time to just get away from everyone, and be alone basically, with a book, with a computer, whatever, I don't' really care, I just need to unwind and chill for a bit, I don't' always want to tell jokes and be the center of things. Sometimes I just want to be a regular guy...
I just spent the last 20 minutes fixing the pics on this site, if you find one that doesn't work let me know k? Anyways I need sleep... talk to you all later
PS my butt is still bright freaking pink, I'm going tannin again tomorrow... stupid Indiana white boy disease...

Monday, March 8

My butt hurts...

Soundtrack of my life: The Way it Is - Bruce Hornsby

OK, so last night I went to the tanning bed. I should have known things wouldn't turn out right when I tried to use my buy 1 get 2 coupon and they wouldn't let me that things were not going to end up well. Well I went for 15 min...... Now I'm bright freaking red and my butt is itching like there's no tomorrow... This is so not cool. I've aloed the crap out of my back and butt today so hopefully that will clear things up.
This weekend was kind of boring really, went to Ambyr's and chilled on Friday and then just hung out everywhere on Saturday. I didn't' say it was bad, just not that eventful I guess. I've only got 4 more days to before SB and it's probably going to be the longest 4 days of my life... I need to get out of here and just chill for a while.
I gotta get to work...
I'm always here if you need anything….

Sunday, March 7

Soundtrack of my life: REM - At My Most Beautiful -










Reach for the lasers with Antic's Sims-ulator!

Words of Wisdom

Soundtrack of my life: Memphis Soul Song - Uncle Kracker

Things may have seemed perfect in the past, but its time to let the past go. The perfect person may come and go and you won't realize because you are searching for the imperfect, the past.

Friday, March 5

Why am I still awake!

It's freaking 140 in the morning and yet again I can't sleep... what the freak is wrong with me lately... Today I finally got my appetite back and now I feel sick again... This is not cool at all... I have to be at work in like five and half hours... but yet i still am sitting here on the computer because all I do is toss and turn all night long... maybe i should get some sleeping pills or something ... hmm... anyway I'm gonna go watch some tube for a bit... catch you all later...

Thursday, March 4

Site issues...

My webhost is apparently having issues.... if the site goes up and down the next few days it's not my fault and i apologize for the lack of working pictures... if anyone knows another good cheap webhost let me know... i need a new one soon..

Wednesday, March 3

Just passing the time

I'm sitting at IUK waiting on some people but since I have a few minutes I thought I'd post something. May not be of any great significance but at least it's something I guess. Today kinda flew by actually, I was on the phone all morning setting up stuff for work over SB. Looks like we're going to get a lot done actually. Tonight I'm gonna hang out... it's been a weird week so far and hopefully tonight I can just relax and enjoy myself... nothing strenuous. Only 9 days to go now and I can already tell that SB is going to be awesome... relaxing is all I wanna do. I should stay home tonight and study actually now that I think about it but if I don?t study I don?t? think I?ll really care honestly. I?m just not into school right now. I should be taking summer classes cause I?m so far behind with stuff but I?m afraid that I?ll be burnt out on school by next fall and then my grades will suffer or something? not cool either way.
I think I have the Netsky.D virus too at home now? I?ve gotten about 50 emails today that have bounced from 3 of my email addresses (yes, I?m a geek) and now I can?t? figure out how to get rid of the thing. I?ve tried everything that Symantec and everyone else said to get rid of it and when I check for it, nothing shows up. Unless someone hacked my website and got all my passwords and junk I don?t see anyway for me to get the virus, I?m the most paranoid person I know when it comes to security on my computer? grrr? Anyways though I should wait on the guys? catch you all later

Time is not moving...

It's about 1220am right now. I went to bed around 1130... i feel like I've just slept all night. For some strange reason I can't seem to get back to sleep. My body is so screwed up lately. I got home tonight at like 845 and it seems like it took forever for time to pass. I feel sick to my stomach again, its all in all not a good thing. I'm so thirsty but every time I drink water/tea/etc... it just makes me sicker. I wish I could understand what's wrong with me. I have no appetite at all, I didn't eat yesterday and only ate some mac and cheese and some BK fries... didn't even touch the Whopper I ordered. My veins are showing in my hands right now... this is weird... It's almost surreal... i wish i understood what was going on... I'm wide awake at 1230! Maybe i'll go read for awhile....

Tuesday, March 2

98 cents change...

So I just got back from Burger King where I had my usual #1 with cheese combo. Total: $4.02. Normally I have a few odd coins to come up with some kind of change for the bill, but today for some reason I had no change on me. So I gave the cashier a $5. Simple enough get 98 cents change. Not today though, the girl apparently missed the making change part of her training because first she handed me 2 cents change after a protest she handed me the other 96 cents but only after counting it out in her about 4 times, 98-2=96 right? Geez, first of all you would think that the #1 with cheese would be popular enough for BK to round off to a halfway round number so that they could advertise it, "#1 with cheese only $4!" Apparently corporate America isn't as smart as we give them credit for. Whatever, that was way too much about such a small thing.
So today I met someone that I didn’t' even realize I knew, I guess anyways. I recognized her for a long time but could never put a name with the face I guess. Well we talked for like 5 or 10 minutes about old stuff mostly, not like we had history or anything just some things in common. Brought up some old wounds that still aren't healed apparently. I still don’t' have a great response to that one question I get asked all the time. And on another slightly related note, I hate the "small world" principle... Too many people know me who know other people. Almost feels like I have no privacy with certain things. Although I don’t' have anything to really hide from people, it just seems that I can't keep certain things private for a while. It would have gotten out anyway; I just wanted it out on my terms I guess.
10 days to go for SB, I'm so excited, not just to go to Florida, but basically just to get away from here for a while. It'll be nice to be carefree for a week really. Last year was a blast; I can only hope that this year will be as good. We keep losing people that are going with us, but that's cool, sometimes the smaller groups work out better I think. It’s too bad that some can't go but I understand why they are not going I guess. If anyone out there is interested in a week in Orlando with some college people let me know... We'll pick you up on the way down.
I need money... for some reason I just can't seem to hold on to it lately, this sucks with SB coming up too. I think I'm going to have forgo any kind of theme park adventure there just to get by. $60 for a day at Universal just isn’t' worth it really. If others want to go then that's fine but I'm just going to chill. For some reason last year I felt like we had to go do everything and anything we could but this year I just think that relaxing and doing what we actually did do last year will be better.... Anyways... time for class soon, I should go do my reading... later

Monday, March 1

A horridly nice day...

Soundtrack of my life: Grace Like Rain - Todd Agnew

Heh...I shouldn't post things like this. So today I woke up feeling like utter and total crap, it went down hill from there basically. I went to work, ran like mad trying to get like 3 jobs to the printer by noon. Of course there were changes to be made and stuff so it was more like 1 before anything was totally done. I chucked all over a parking lot before I could even get to work, and felt horrible the rest of the day. About 130 I went home. I went straight in and went to bed. I hadn't eaten anything all day and I didn't care at all. I didn't care, I felt bad. I woke up around 530 for dinner (which I still didn't eat) and just kinda sat around until now. Now I'm going to go play basketball with some of the guys until like 12 or so and hopefully I don't die before that. Tomorrow I have a psych test and lord knows what else, I just know that I haven't studied for anything. I'm such a lazy piece of crap. Is it bad when you sleep like 40 hours in 3 days?
PS Thanks to my new reader Hootress for posting some comments, if the people I know IRL wont' post at least someone will.