Life or Something Close

Friday, October 31

26 things in 30 days

Ok here's the deal in the next few weeks or 30 days to be exact i'm going to do thsi thign called 26 things... Basically, you take pictures of things to satisfy a list. There are no winners, jsut an experience... Should be good I think...

Thursday, October 30

Boredom in Econ

Soundtrack of my Life: SetYouFree - Not The Joneses

Sitting here in econ class bored out of my mind. I just felt like writing about what's going on in life right now. First off, tomorrow is Tony's party and then Matt's party right after. Should be fun, but busy. Then on Saturday Terra and I are going out. I'm nervous. I mean yeah it's cont a date or anything, but I wish it was kinda. She's fun. What's all I know right now> I wish I knew her better or at least had the chance to know her better. I understand what she's doing and why. What I don't' understand is why she isn't' letting things cool off a bit and just living life and having fun.
I guess I feel that way because I think I'm moving on. I dunno though maybe I screwed things up by trying to move on. I got the feeling that when I moved on she still hadn't maybe. I wish I understood things better. Two months ago things were going well, no, total turmoil. Things weren't perfect but I thought they were workable. I was wrong I guess.
Now I know what I want. I can play the "what-if" game, but I honestly don't' want to. I want what and who I had. I have nothing to complain about now except that there is nothing to complain about.
People care me. They change faster than I know how to react. Maybe I'm just unobservant and cant' see what's going on around me.
I think I think too much.
My mind moves faster than me but still has to catch up at the same time. I'm always thinking about something. People who say they aren't' thinking about anything bother me. I don't' understand blank minds. If I'm not thinking or planning my next move or something I go nuts.
I prefer reaction over action I guess. I've done a lot of things in my life that some people find shameful or embarrassing. I'm not ashamed. I did what I did when I did it, because I wanted do it. At the time it seemed like a good idea, and in some cases it still is a good idea. People shouldn't judge before they try something and everyone has different tastes.

Tuesday, October 28

Am I over it? No, I'm just dealing with it...

Things are definitely changing quickly. I mean in one weekend, I went from happy, to sad, to happy again. People can change their minds about things sometimes. I look around at all the things going on in my life and realize that this all must be fore a purpose higher than my own consciousness can recognize. Am I over it all? Of course not, but I'm moving on now. I've learned that I can't change the past or force the future, I have to be patient. I'm living now for now, not for tomorrow. The smallest things matter the most. A smile is worth more than anything, if you can smile then it's not so bad. I keep thinking that maybe something isn't right with life, everything is great actually, it's life, that's what makes it so fun. A small something is better than a huge nothing. The week has been exciting, nothing big has happened, maybe it's the anticipation, maybe it's the newness of it all, either way, I'm happy now. If it happens it happens, if not I'll be ok. Until next time...

Friday, October 24

Do I look that stupid?

Certain people, you know who you are, are saying they are not who they say they are. I know what you're doing, you make it too obvious. The great thing about the net is you leave a trail wherever you go. IP addresses can be traced to certain towns, SNs on AIM can be traced to accounts, and all the little logger in my profile does is log your IP address and location if you visit it. So by now, I've figured out who you are. As a matter of fact, last time we talked, I left hints as to where to find me if you wanted to, I lied.. Hardly ever go there, but you did put on a good show by playing dumb about the locations of certain sports bars in our area. Now I realize you're trying to be sneaky, but really, it's pretty dang obvious. I predict that this post will scare of the offending one for a while, but don't you worry, they'll be back. Like clockwork, they just keep coming back...

Wednesday, October 22

so confused

nothign else to say... why is life so complicated

Tuesday, October 21

Moving Day

Today I am moving my domain to a new host so for the next couple of days things may be a bit hairy. If you need to reach me use my other email.. Also, look for some new features to the blog possibly.. like maybe i'll post some pics now and then or something... who knows... see you all in the funny pages:)

Sunday, October 19

Sunday's are boring

Soundtrack of my Life: My Heart Goes Out - Warren Barfield

I'm sitting here doing absolutely nothing. I mean I got up today, sat around and read the paper and then I took a shower. After that I got on the net and piddled around for a bit. I decided to work on my APA paper for school today. I think I have all the sources I'm going to need, but I might still do an interview just to add some credibility to my hypothesis. Who knows though I'm looking for a new web host too... I'm paying too much right for the features I get. I need more storage space... It would make file transfers so much easier for me. I'll find something I guess.
Seriously though, it's 4 o'clock and I've done nothing and still have nothing to do... I guess I'll go pay some bills and maybe watch a movie or something... Maybe I'll sleep...

Sunday, October 12

it's sunday and my buddy list is empty

Soundtrack of my Life: Only Heart - Jonh Mayer

Does anyone else ever have this problem? I, like many other people in the world now have a broadband cable connection, meaning that I am always on the Internet, and therefore pretty much always on AIM. I have about 100 people on my buddy list and usually about 15-20 people are online at one time. Today... actually just now, I checked and only 4 people are online. I wonder if it's just this time of day or maybe everyone got kicked off the net simultaneously... Hmmm.. It's been a petty dull week really. I don't' think anything exciting has happened. I got some good contacts at work and hopefully will start getting some commission checks. This week should be ok too... I've got some meetings already and I think school should be fine. My APA paper research is feeling a bit weak right now but I can fix that with some time in the library or something. I dunno. Anyways I'm going to go finish watching my movie and then do something tonight.... I think I'm fixit a puter.

Tuesday, October 7

I want to live in the center of a circle, I want to live on the side of a square

Soundtrack of my Life: Home Life - Jonh Mayer

Econ test today. Should be interesting. Things are going ok right now I guess. They could be better but only time will really tell. I hate waiting... I'm just too impatient...I can only hope. OF course it just creates mroe hassle if something does happen, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. Work is going well I guess... got some stuff sold this week, need some commissions though cause I am still flat broke. If anyone wants to donate, email me and i'll give you an address to send money to. I have a paypal account that you can use too. :) Aight I'm goin to eat... talk to you all later