Life or Something Close

Thursday, October 30

Boredom in Econ

Soundtrack of my Life: SetYouFree - Not The Joneses

Sitting here in econ class bored out of my mind. I just felt like writing about what's going on in life right now. First off, tomorrow is Tony's party and then Matt's party right after. Should be fun, but busy. Then on Saturday Terra and I are going out. I'm nervous. I mean yeah it's cont a date or anything, but I wish it was kinda. She's fun. What's all I know right now> I wish I knew her better or at least had the chance to know her better. I understand what she's doing and why. What I don't' understand is why she isn't' letting things cool off a bit and just living life and having fun.
I guess I feel that way because I think I'm moving on. I dunno though maybe I screwed things up by trying to move on. I got the feeling that when I moved on she still hadn't maybe. I wish I understood things better. Two months ago things were going well, no, total turmoil. Things weren't perfect but I thought they were workable. I was wrong I guess.
Now I know what I want. I can play the "what-if" game, but I honestly don't' want to. I want what and who I had. I have nothing to complain about now except that there is nothing to complain about.
People care me. They change faster than I know how to react. Maybe I'm just unobservant and cant' see what's going on around me.
I think I think too much.
My mind moves faster than me but still has to catch up at the same time. I'm always thinking about something. People who say they aren't' thinking about anything bother me. I don't' understand blank minds. If I'm not thinking or planning my next move or something I go nuts.
I prefer reaction over action I guess. I've done a lot of things in my life that some people find shameful or embarrassing. I'm not ashamed. I did what I did when I did it, because I wanted do it. At the time it seemed like a good idea, and in some cases it still is a good idea. People shouldn't judge before they try something and everyone has different tastes.